**100th Post!** All about kids, drugs and gnomes
From the title, you might be assuming something along the lines of "Kids use drugs, then see gnomes" - no! You will that the opposite is true.
I read one of my old books to the boys a few days ago. The book was first published in 1976 (perhaps influenced by hippy gnomes?), and my Grandma gave it to me for Christmas in 1981. I was about five-and-a-quarter - the quarter is very important when you're five - and I loved this book. It has fascinating cursive writing, lots of pop-ups and moving parts, and watercolour illustrations including gnomes helping cute fuzzy animals. My favourite page is the last one where the whole scene pops up, complete with thread "chains" on the swing and "rope" for the tug-of-war.
When reading to the boys, I turned to the second page where the son gnome pops up behind the table cloth, the toilet door opens and out comes the daughter gnome, mother gnome is at the pop-out stove, and father gnome is there in all his 3D glory - alas! - having a bong!! The accompanying text says "After breakfast the father gnome lights his first pipe and waits until his wife has cleared away the breakfast things." Apart from smoking while his wife does the work, what's this about "first"?!
My five-and-a-quarter-year-old eyes never took any notice of the father gnome having a pipe, and certainly didn't think it was any fancy sort of pipe. However, I couldn't believe my ...er... 31-year-old.... ahem! Eyes. Couldn't believe my eyes is all. So I did the academic thing and cross-referenced with another gnome resource, albeit a resource with the same publisher, author, and original publishing date as the first one. In fact the second one is based on the first. Anyhoo. The second book is not pop-up and goes into much more detail on many gnomular matters. It's also easier to scan than a pop-up book - here is father gnome and his first pipe of the day, accompanied by similar text to the first book:
As I said, when I was five I didn't even notice. I have not grown up into a junky (mostly grown up; just not into a junky). Believe it or not, I've never even smoked a legal cigarette let alone try anything that gnomes apparently might try (insert "parents breathing sighs of relief and resonating slightly with pride in their respective parenting skills" sounds here).
Maybe society is now over-protective of children and what they might see in various media, because I saw the above picture numerous times in my childhood and did not rush out to try that activity. In fact, what these two books did encourage was reading, because they are such beautiful and fascinating books that I could study the curly writing and detailed pictures for ages; so much so that I still have them 26 ... er... some years later. Maybe we should consider that when censoring children's texts.
What we should be concerned about is those gnomes. Yes, the book says the average gnome lifespan is 400 years, but surely it is obvious that smoking has stunted their growth! And whatsmore, there are several references to gnomes seeing and even talking to humans! Again it's obvious, this has to be drug induced. They are speaking to figments of their gnomly little imaginations. They see big people! Don't be worried about us using drugs, because we are only drug-induced figments of gnome imaginations! They get stoned ... and end up in gardens... if we were to conduct a census on how many garden gnomes there are, we'd see that stoned gnomes are a widespread problem.
And so you see, it is not the human kids using drugs we should be worried about. Kids who don't use drugs still see gnomes (and monsters under beds); however, and more importantly, gnomes who use drugs see humans.
No doubt if they can use bongs, they've already discovered those mushrooms too...
The Pop-Up Book of Gnomes; Abrams 1979; Art Director Chuck Murphy, designer John Strejan, paper engineer Tor Lokvig, handwriting Diane Kosowski; Adapted from Gnomes by Rien Poortvliet and Wil Huygen.
Gnomes; Abrams 1977; Poortvliet and Huygen.
I read one of my old books to the boys a few days ago. The book was first published in 1976 (perhaps influenced by hippy gnomes?), and my Grandma gave it to me for Christmas in 1981. I was about five-and-a-quarter - the quarter is very important when you're five - and I loved this book. It has fascinating cursive writing, lots of pop-ups and moving parts, and watercolour illustrations including gnomes helping cute fuzzy animals. My favourite page is the last one where the whole scene pops up, complete with thread "chains" on the swing and "rope" for the tug-of-war.
When reading to the boys, I turned to the second page where the son gnome pops up behind the table cloth, the toilet door opens and out comes the daughter gnome, mother gnome is at the pop-out stove, and father gnome is there in all his 3D glory - alas! - having a bong!! The accompanying text says "After breakfast the father gnome lights his first pipe and waits until his wife has cleared away the breakfast things." Apart from smoking while his wife does the work, what's this about "first"?!
My five-and-a-quarter-year-old eyes never took any notice of the father gnome having a pipe, and certainly didn't think it was any fancy sort of pipe. However, I couldn't believe my ...er... 31-year-old.... ahem! Eyes. Couldn't believe my eyes is all. So I did the academic thing and cross-referenced with another gnome resource, albeit a resource with the same publisher, author, and original publishing date as the first one. In fact the second one is based on the first. Anyhoo. The second book is not pop-up and goes into much more detail on many gnomular matters. It's also easier to scan than a pop-up book - here is father gnome and his first pipe of the day, accompanied by similar text to the first book:
As I said, when I was five I didn't even notice. I have not grown up into a junky (mostly grown up; just not into a junky). Believe it or not, I've never even smoked a legal cigarette let alone try anything that gnomes apparently might try (insert "parents breathing sighs of relief and resonating slightly with pride in their respective parenting skills" sounds here).
Maybe society is now over-protective of children and what they might see in various media, because I saw the above picture numerous times in my childhood and did not rush out to try that activity. In fact, what these two books did encourage was reading, because they are such beautiful and fascinating books that I could study the curly writing and detailed pictures for ages; so much so that I still have them 26 ... er... some years later. Maybe we should consider that when censoring children's texts.
What we should be concerned about is those gnomes. Yes, the book says the average gnome lifespan is 400 years, but surely it is obvious that smoking has stunted their growth! And whatsmore, there are several references to gnomes seeing and even talking to humans! Again it's obvious, this has to be drug induced. They are speaking to figments of their gnomly little imaginations. They see big people! Don't be worried about us using drugs, because we are only drug-induced figments of gnome imaginations! They get stoned ... and end up in gardens... if we were to conduct a census on how many garden gnomes there are, we'd see that stoned gnomes are a widespread problem.
And so you see, it is not the human kids using drugs we should be worried about. Kids who don't use drugs still see gnomes (and monsters under beds); however, and more importantly, gnomes who use drugs see humans.
No doubt if they can use bongs, they've already discovered those mushrooms too...
Out of respect to two of my favourite childhood books, which discuss drug use far less than I have here, here they are:
The Pop-Up Book of Gnomes; Abrams 1979; Art Director Chuck Murphy, designer John Strejan, paper engineer Tor Lokvig, handwriting Diane Kosowski; Adapted from Gnomes by Rien Poortvliet and Wil Huygen.
Gnomes; Abrams 1977; Poortvliet and Huygen.
They really are beautiful books; text, handwriting, illustrations, paper engineering and content.
posted by Jo | 1:25 AM
1 Comments:
I see them liberal hippie gnomes go for alternative cuisine as well. Strange they missed out on womens' lib. "Why can't you help with the dishes, Gimli? What, are you turning to concrete or something?"
I bet they like Hendrix too - you gotta respect the classics, man!
Personally, I liked Froud goblins. Looking at some of those one has to wonder about smoking habits though.
Mellow, man! Enjoy the smell of the colours.
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